The fun in celibacy, single life and friendships

Amy WalkerSo anyone that knows me in my personal life knows that when it comes to the subject of “settling down” my feelings change as often as the days of the week. One minute I want that special someone in my life and I fancy the idea of profiles and internet dating. Then there are other days I celebrate being single and can’t imagine sharing “that” space, “my” space with another human.

To many people the single life is not enticing because there’s no sex, the on demand type sex, the voice loss in the morning type sex, the in public places sex. At least in my singledom there isn’t. I believe that it is in our basic animalistic DNA to want to mount the opposite sex and enjoy it/them. But I also believe that not every human being is wired the same and sex is not at the top of everyone’s list. In a nutshell sex is overrated and I refuse to believe that all there is to companionship is sex and all there is to being single is lack thereof. However, I have known plenty of people that enter romantic relationships and even get married simply to do the nasty.

I enjoy celibacy. I’m able to practice celibacy by having complete respect for my mind and body. I don’t let my impulse dominate but rather reason every decision I make. I also don’t over stimulate myself by watching, listening or doing things that get me all hot a bothered. “Be careful of your thoughts for they become your actions.” author unknown. I consider myself a package; mind, body and soul. To give away one piece of me would be incomplete and cheapen what I have to offer as a whole. Likewise when I meet a gentleman I can see him in 3D, because people will show you what you show them. Also, do you know the exhilarating feeling of knowing someone desires you wants you but will not, cannot have you? it’s amazing! Come on now sistas it’s all part of my/your feminine allure, why give that away prematurely.

Sure, sure there are some drawbacks to being solo like having to zip up my dress while my arms won’t allow me to reach the top. It sucks! Flashing light YOU’RE SINGLE. Besides I think there’s something extremely sexy about having your MAN zip up your form hugging frock from the back. Another… when I have to play good cop bad cop with my son; the poor child thinks I’m bipolar. Flashing light YOU’RE SINGLE.  Another… how about when I go on get-a-ways and vacation; Puerto Rico, New York, Bahamas, DC {Pics on the TMFA fan page} with family and friends as opposed to the man of my dreams, Dennis Haysbert, the sexy deep voiced actor extraordinaire, Allstate commercial guy. Come here daddy! SIDENOTE: I have loved Dennis since the creation of the word crush. I hope he reads this and emails me ;-). Dreams can come true. ENDNOTE. Flashing light YOU’RE SINGLE.

The handsome Dennis Haysbert

The handsome Dennis Haysbert

While those and other things are very frustrating for me and sometimes lead to my Debbie Downer moments, I have to say I’m not ready to turn in my Single Ladies membership just yet. My membership does have its perks: (In no particular order of importance)

  1. I can shave whenever I want. I know what you’re thinking… the Freedom! LOL, no… not what you were thinking. Okay.
  2. I can make my own decisions without having to consider, consult or care about someone else.
  3. I can be spontaneous without apology.
  4. I can be as plain Jane or over the top as I want to be. Some days I’m average and others I’m a Diva.
  5. I save a LOT of money.
  6. I think dating builds character and helps define you as person because you’re constantly forming, braking and mending relationship based on what is best for your life and your needs. It helps you define what attributes, in any type of relationship, you need to bring to the table. I think this type of “exercise” is priceless, especially if your career demands that you do a lot of networking.
  7. I get to spend all the time in the world by-my-self! I’m an introvert by nature but an extrovert on purpose. {Let me know if you want me to do a post on this topic}. I think I’m the best company anyway.
  8. I don’t have to compromise. It’s either my way or my way. Point, blank and period.
  9. Service; I can be more of a service to my friends and family around me. I feel that my generation takes these relationships for granted for the sake of forming a new romantic relationship. There’s no shame in being the girl that your family and friends can rely on.
  10. I don’t have to have sex. Sex outside of marriage just clouds your judgment and makes things complicated.
  11. I don’t have to change me. When you enter a relationship you change, it’s inevitable it has to happen. It may not be drastic but it happens none the less. And that’s okay. The only thing is I’m so comfortable in my own skin I can’t imagine changing it now.
  12. Dr. Walker, I want to earn my doctorate in my last name.

I’ll end it here because this list can go on and on.

Amy Walker

Amy Walker

#takemyfoolishadvice being single is not a death sentence. There are many privileges you entertain because you’re single and more that you’ve probably have not considered yet. Enjoy them and enjoy you.




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