Text messages that read “call me now”. No reply in 2.5 seconds so you call my cell phone, no answer. You ring my house phone and leave a message on the answering machine. My work cell phone is right beside me and I am sure it will buzz any second now. No success, you send an email. Watch and wait for me to login to my facebook account and IM me. You send messages through other family member and friends in an effort to try to reach me. When all else fails you show up at my house. I know and accept freely what I am to you. I am your sounding board, moral compass, spiritual advisor, confidante, go to person, source for inspiration, positivity and creativity, your teacher, a listening ear, your personal cheerleader and I appreciate it all, all of these hats you have adorned me with. But I hear your voice even when you are not speaking to me and that is the problem. Sometimes I just want to turn off all the noise in my head and in order to do that I have to mute you!
Communication is vital to the success of any type of relationship, be it a friendship, professional or a romantic relationship. But sometimes in order to listen you have to stop communicating all together. I love the people in my life to pieces; they all have a little piece of me. They occupy space in my heart and mind and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. However, I tend to give so much of myself away that there’s not enough of ME left for ME. And If I am going to be 100% honest there is nothing left for God.
I am an introvert by nature/desire but pretend to be an extrovert at work and church for various reasons. I can be surrounded by hundreds of people with the biggest smile on my face, enjoying myself and my company but secretly wish it was just me and my son in that space and time.
So how do I turn off the noise in my head?
I ignore/ turn off all the noise makers; people (family, friends, co-workers and church members), computer, TV, all telephone devices and I do not leave my room/house. I block all incoming messages so I can just relax or focus on me. I make sure I have a full bottle of Welch’s grape juice, a few long sticks of Slim Jim and some Anita Baker on heavy rotation to help me distress and gain clarity. I turn the temperature down to lowest it will go because everything feels better when you’re wrapped up in a cozy blanket. I dress in my loosest fitting PJ’s even in the day time and I let my afro take whatever form it wants. I free myself! It has taken me a few years to determine how to do this and be successful at it. Mediatation doesn’t work for everyone everytime. I have a formula that works now. My silence can last a day, it can last a week. I take all the time I need.
What about all those unanswered messages?
I answer them at my earliest convenience. I apologize for my absence when appropriate and keep it moving. Guess what… if I die today from stress all communication will seize. I have come to accept that this world will continue with or without me. The same goes for you no matter who you think you are.
#takemyfoolishadvice you can’t hear God speak to you through the noise. Turn off the noise and see what happens. Be sure to come back and share how you did it in the comment section.