It’s been 6 weeks since I last posted on TakeMyFoolishAdvice and I just wanted to apologize for being away for so long. I really missed all of you greatly and thought of you guys constantly, maybe even obsessedly (I know it’s not a word) while I was away. Your comments on a few topics have been keeping me entertained and excited to get back to you. So, here’s what’s been keeping me away from you guys… I called the wedding off! I’m not sure where exactly to start so I’ll just start from the beginning.
We arrived in Barbados at Grantley Adams International Airport at 1:20pm. The first thing I noticed was the clear topaz colored water; it reminded me of the beaches of Miami and the tropical oasis, Jamaica. I felt at peace even though my heart was racing with excitement and adventure. I remember smelling the ocean as I stepped out of the airport and put on my favorite pair of leopard print sunglasses. Just then I heard the chauffeur beckon unto me, “Ms. Walker your car awaits you.” I sat in an amazing cream and cognac colored stretched Cadillac Escalade fully equipped with chilled coconut water, coconut flavored Italian ices, coconut Rum and thought to myself, “My wedding weekend has finally arrived”. My mother, sisters and closest girlfriends jumped into the SUV with me and we were headed to my wedding resort destination. With my eyes fixated on all of the beautiful women surrounding me I couldn’t stop imaging them in their gowns. Dark chocolate, cool browns, gentle mocha, and stunning almond skin tones will soon be dripping in vibrant Spring violets, fierce and fantastic fuchsias, creamy soft browns with hints of lilac. Romantically my mind drifted to Maximus, my fiancé, my love, my protector, my partner in everything Amy, my motivator, sounding board and friend for almost five years.
Maximus stands at 5’11, a solid 195 lbs. with smooth velvety brown skin that accentuates that muscular physic I love. He has a warm and welcoming smile, piercing eyes that holds your attention secretly with or without your permission. And that voice, that voice is more like an experience. A soothing baritone vibrato that makes you feel light, worry free with a first class escape ticket to never never land, but still powerful enough to hold you captive to his every word. His name literally means “the greatest”. He is… or was… no still is, a fantastic man. Never did I think in a million years a man like Maximus would be interested in me; a plain Jane single mom. I didn’t think I was tall enough, smart enough, pretty enough, light-skinned enough, rich enough, just plain “ENOUGH” for a man so brilliant and amazingly handsome.
Maximus, my soon to be father-in-law, the groomsmen, and our sons… or rather my son, (still not sure how to say that) were to arrive in Barbados the next evening. When we first met, we were in church. Yeah I know this is what every girl dreams of; a smart and handsome man that loves the Lord. Well I was sitting in the pew with my son and the pastor was preaching a sermon on love. “Unconditional and God approved love,” I remember the pastor loudly exclaiming. It was a moving and groundbreaking sermon that changed my ideology on love immediately. It was like I knew and believed that I was deserving of love. My eyes were now opened and they connected with Maximus eyes, which seemed familiar and safe to me.
Although we had never met before something came over me the moment I saw him. Instinctively I followed his every lead. As service was ending, and church members began to leave, he changed seats in the pew to be closer to me. I followed suit and did the same. Eventually we were sitting right next to each other, eyes fixated on each other as if we had met and loved each other long before that very day. My breathing was steady but shallow. While we both were looking forward we simultaneously and slowly moved our hands closer and closer together. Something attracted us to each other and it was hella strong. I had never been so brave and spontaneous before in my life. The world felt as if it were moving fast and we were suspended in time. Once our hands found each other, I swallowed hard. This all felt so surreal but so right. I was confused and excited which didn’t make sense because I was in church. Where was all of this coming from? I asked myself. I looked down and I was holding hands with a stranger. It felt intimate, it was intimate.
“Hello, my name is Maximus” he said as he softly caressed my hand. I swallowed hard again. “My name is Amy.” His voice made my spine tingle and I’m not ticklish. “Have you seen me here before?” He asked. I stuttered, “No, I’m not all that good with faces but I’m sure I would have remembered yours if I had.” I could tell that he was smiling while he caressed my hand gently and respectfully, but I could not bring myself to turn to look at him. If I did I would have to admit to myself that I was flirting with the closest version of Morris Chestnut I would find in real life and fallen apart. I didn’t even know what this was all about. The only thing I knew was the church sanctuary had completely emptied. It was just the two of us sitting in the pew with my son fast asleep on my lap and a chubby round little boy who kept calling him, “Sir Sir”.
Eyes fixed forward. Hands embraced in one another’s he revealed, “I have seen you every week for the past eight months. You’re a great mother and you give your son and everyone around you great love. I have also seen that you have no one to love you.”
This is just an installment from my first short story entitled, “I called the Wedding OFF!” I’m excited to hear your feedback. Stay tuned to part 2.