Single mothers are only good for sex, as side pieces or jump-offs!
Single mothers are not to be taken seriously; they’re something to have fun with!
Single mothers are reckless and sleep with multi partners!
Single mothers are uneducated and living off of government assistance!
Single mothers go on one date with you and try to make you their “baby daddy”!
Single mothers have multiple babies by multiple men!
Heard enough… These are some of the stereotypes that I’ve heard both sexes hurl around to either defend or offend single mothers and women in general. The list can go on and on and on… and don’t be a black single mother because that brings about a whole set of stereotypes on its own. Though I wish this were false, in my experience, most of these hurtful stereotypes are spoken by other women.
There is such a horrible stigma attached to being a single mother it’s a wonder why more of us haven’t killed ourselves from depression, suicide or silence. By no means am I saying that being a single mother should be worn as a badge of honor. I will declare, however, that we are not the bottom of the barrel simply because we are single mothers. We all are not gold-digging-hoochie-momma’s trying to sleep, or steal, your man. Nor are we running around having sex with reckless abandonment. While the world loves to use us as their poster child of “what not to do” and fit us into their statistical analysis, it’s forgotten in the process that we are human beings WITH emotions. Need I remind you that we are all sinners and while my sin (pre-marital sex) can be physically seen it still doesn’t make you a first class citizen. We are too comfortable with judging and reminding others of their short comings in this world. The self-esteem and character of single mothers are continuously under attack for one single act of indiscretion. We all fall short of the glory of God, not just single mothers.
After the smear campaign what remain are sisters, daughters, nieces, role models, business women, leaders and women of character, integrity, honor, pride, love and yes a single mother. Please do not get my message twisted I am not advocating for pre-marital sex and having children out of wedlock, I am attempting to simply expose the other side, the bigger picture.
So what is the bigger picture? The child isn’t going anywhere. When it’s all said and done we single mothers are charged with the responsibility of raising a healthy and beautiful child. There is a social deficiency that no one seems to notice. The stigma attached to being a single mother works well to deter other young women from falling into the same predicament; but it’s absolutely crippling for those that already have. You’re left to feel like you can’t turn to God because you have committed the worst sin imaginable. And if for a minute you think you’re forgiven there is always someone or something to remind you otherwise. You can’t date because now you’re classified as “damaged goods” a “play thang”. There is no reprieve. It is no wonder that postpartum depression last longer in single mothers. There will be times in life that you don’t always do it “right” the first time. When it comes to other circumstances people are allowed to move on, why not single mothers.
It’s like never having the bona fide chance to improve your social situation. We are not all cut from the same cloth; it’s not a one size fit all type of party. We are not damaged goods and should be judged on a case by case basis. My personality, character and integrity should speak for me. Not the stereotypes of what you think a single mother is all about. At the end of the day we are still left with a child to raise. Unfortunately, not all of us survive this social deficiency, it only contributes to deterioration of the mother and the child. This is a very board topic so I will end it here for now but I’m sure we’ll discuss it more in the future.
The video below is from a youtuber named Taren Guy. I enjoyed her take on the subject and I’m sure you will too. #takemyfoolishadvice we are all sinner, deserving of a second chance and forgiveness. Be sure to leave your comments below.